i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
