Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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