Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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