There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
