You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
