i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
