i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
