yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
