She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
