Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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