I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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