So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
