This is not my ceiling
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
