For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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