Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
