if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
