there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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