Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
