can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
