if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
