As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
