She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
