That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
