You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
