Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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