It's like God shit irony all over that family
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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