there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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