A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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