I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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