I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
