Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
