if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
