Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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