If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
