i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
