let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
