There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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