Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
