I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
