i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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