dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
