my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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