My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
