And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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