john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
