apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
