Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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