Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We are two peas in an std pod
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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