Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
