hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
