Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
soo... how was my night?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
