Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
